I want to thank everyone that came out to the group discussion last night. We covered a lot of topics and really had a good time discussing issues with each other.

One topic that came up that I believe is such an important concept within the lifestyle was self control. Quite often as submissives we get so involved in the process, lost in our submission that we become too excited and eager. I have been guilty of this more than once.

When a submissive is uncollared we refer to this state sub-frenzy.  I found an excellent article on sub-frenzy that explains sub-frenzy so well. Here a couple quotes from the article but I encourage you to read it in its entirety.

Submissive Frenzies are a state or condition that many if not all submissives will experience at one time or another. Many aspects of BDSM are similar to addictions in how they play out in the mind. From that perspective the Frenzies can be considered to be the 'withdrawal' stage.

This is an increasing and progressive sensation of 'need'. Fairly quickly the submissive may discover that 'getting their fix', becomes supremely important in their lives. It can leave them irrational, willing to make poor decisions, rash, impulsive and generally stupid. A submissive in a frenzied state is at their most vulnerable to succumbing to the ploys of those less than admirable. They may become easily enthralled, believe themselves 'in love', willing to give over anything (almost literally) in order to fill that enormous void in their life.

So as beautiful, strong submissives what can we do to control ourselves during these feelings of frenzy? At the discussion there was a lot of great suggestions.

Exercise is a great way to burn off some of that excess energy and clear our minds. Yoga, walking, running, tai chi whatever you enjoy and can really get into. Not only is is great to calm us, we are empowering ourselves by taking care of our well being both physically and emotionally.

Masturbation is another way to release some of that excess sexual energy that occurs during submissive acts. As submissives we are quite often much more in tune to our sexuality causing an overflow of sexual energy. In order to control this and not become frenzied, masturbation can release some of that energy and help us become even more in touch with ourselves.

Attending discussions and classes and surrounding ourselves with other submissives. As discussed in the article mentioned above, quite often a submissive's need for knowledge, to do more, to learn more, experience everything can get them into trouble. By educating ourselves, we empower ourselves and strengthen our submission. By going to submissive only discussions, and heanging otu with like minded submissives we can release some of that pent up energy through talking.  I have attended some pretty lively discussions where submissives truly are letting off excess energy.

Lastly, I think it is important to mention stepping back. Take a breather, do something that is not related to the lifestyle, knit, draw, take some pictures, explore. When in Second Life, if you begin to feel frenzied, IM a friend, someone in our group, shop (though careful not to over spend!) explore or even log out.  Our emotional well being is strongly linked to our submission. When uncollared it is especially important to take care of ourselves and be mindful of our feelings and emotions. Self control is something everyone can work on, and I believe is an ongoing goal.

Please feel free to add in comments any additional tools we as submissives can use to control our excess energy, in order to be the strong, beautiful submissives that we all are.